Pictured: a close up of a pair of hands washing dishes

Time is constantly running out

It’s easy to feel like time is running out when your energy-levels are rock-bottom and you while away most of a long morning in bed. An astute observation, I know.

It’s 2:30 PM and I’m really trying to remind myself of the wins, the micro-victories I talked about yesterday. I got off to a poor start today because I woke up somewhere around three in the morning and couldn’t get back asleep until close to seven.  As soon as I (eventually) woke up, the day was already at a loss compared with yesterday. But as Cat likes to say, “Progress isn’t a straight line.”

Yesterday's mixed bag

Although I had modest hopes for the remainder of yesterday once I posted the day’s confession, I didn’t manage to clean the rabbit room, write my book or get to bed early. But I did manage to go on my virtual coffee date with a colleague-slash-friend and do the dishes, both of which were major success for me. I haven’t washed dishes in about a month, leaving yet another house-chore to my full-time employed wife which meant that things were starting to fall through the cracks. One person can’t work a full-time job, care for five animals plus a depressed wife and do 100% of the housework. It just wasn’t feasible.

But now that I have more time on my hands, being a Full Time Depressed Person, I was able to take on some dishes and regain some of my laundry duties, both of which I tended to yesterday.

Even more impressive, I managed to not only attend but also wildly enjoy my virtual coffee date. My pal and I laughed throughout and I’m so pleased to have been able to properly engage with a social activity. Plus, dare I say, I think I even gave some solid advice! Of course, I replayed the conversation over and over in my head when I should have been sleeping just to make sure that I had been socially acceptable from all angles… but baby steps! I did a social! Even if it did leave me too wired to fall asleep. 

Today's mixed bag

Today, my energy levels are significantly lower, which is hardly a surprise. I had a lot of small victories yesterday and a poor night’s sleep, so today was perhaps slightly doomed from the get-go.

Nevertheless, I did have a virtual writing date with another writer friend (this guy is so close to me that hanging out with him only requires minimal social energies. I’m not saying it wasn’t a win, but it wasn’t as big a win as yesterday’s more rare social occasion) so I proofread all my existing blogs and I pulled together my first article for Medium. I haven’t posted it yet because I want to make sure the structure is okay and I have to take some photos for images, but it’s still a big step… and this article will replace one of my current portfolio pieces so I want to make sure I get it right.

As for the rest of today’s modest agenda…

I (plan) hope to

  • do more dishes
  • clean the rabbit room (that’s a must)
  • take a shower
  • find my journal (relevant to the Medium article)
  • order a birthday present for my godson
  • do a face-mask
  • paint my nails
  • and, if you’re reading this, it means I’ve successfully published today’s Confession as well.

Oh! And one more thing

I’m going to share the link to this website with my best friends.

In terms of my ever-evaporating time, it’ll only take ten seconds to share but it’s taken weeks, days and hours of psyching myself up first, so this is perhaps the most giant of my baby steps.

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