I can now confirm that day one of my routine experiment has not gone according to plan in any way, shape or form.
A late start
It’s now lunchtime and I’ve only just made contact with my computer which puts me firmly behind in my writing schedule. The domino effect means that I’m now looking at squeezing quite a bit into a short space of time.
Not to harp on too much about my ‘to do’ lists, because I know I’ve put too much focus there in the past, but I definitely want to get plenty of writing and housework done today.
I spent yesterday crying on and off and I mostly stayed in bed, so you would think I’d be feeling rested and together today. Unfortunately, though, I woke up in the middle of the night and had some trouble falling back asleep. So when my alarm chimed this morning I wasn’t nearly rested enough. I had to give myself a few extra hours in bed and when I finally made it to consciousness I was pretty groggy. In summary, I lost a lot of the morning to laying in bed and scrolling mindlessly.
It’s not the end of the world, of course, but it is a bad start to day one of what I had hoped would be a week of a solid routine.
Disappointed though I am, I also think maybe it was the right call. Although I’ll struggle to get through the routine I had set out, I probably would have struggled more if I wasn’t well-rested, no matter how many extra hours the day gave me.
Flexibility is one of the key elements of this routine that makes it accessible to me. The rigidness of work-life wasn’t working so this is my alternative, which will hopefully pay off.
I still have several hours of the day ahead and I may have to cut some corners to tick off today’s priorities but I have to be okay with those shortcomings. They’re what allow me to move forward with my day. If I got caught up in perfection then I’d never get anywhere.
So my plan for the rest of the day is to do a little bit of everything I set out to do, rather than doing one item on my list perfectly. I’m going to publish this Confession, write some of Project Blue (although not as much as I had hoped), do some dishes (but not all) and call my grandmother. The shower can wait until tomorrow.
I may be pushed for time but at least by the time I got out of bed I felt moderately energised and capable of going forward. Although I’m trying to set myself some ground rules, the most important thing is to be kind to myself. It’s a skill I haven’t always mastered, but it’s important to use this time to learn the basics of self-compassion.
So I’ve got my routine and I’ll strive to stick to it, but it won’t rule my day.